Ah, the noble urge to change someone for the better. It’s like a superhero complex, but more exhausting than saving the world—the kind that leaves you wondering if you’re really a rescuer or just a glutton for frustration. Cardi B spoke about Stefon Diggs wanting to “heal” her in their relationship, and Elizabeth Gilbert’s memoir dives into her attempt to save her drug-addicted girlfriend. Spoiler: it didn’t end well!

Experts like Adia Gooden, PhD, remind us that trying to fix someone often leads to enabling bad behavior, and can create codependent dynamics that hurt both parties. The emotional toll is real. As you rally to change a partner, don’t be surprised if you end up feeling drained and resentful instead. It’s like trying to pour from an empty cup—eventually, you run dry, and no one gets the love they need!

So, how do we avoid this messy scenario? First, it’s essential to set boundaries and recognize that change needs to come from the individual. Offering support is great, but rescuing? Not so much. At the end of the day, remember that you can only control your own actions—and ideally, you’d rather not need a cape for this job! What’s your take? Have you ever felt like a fixer-upper?